Sunday, September 07, 2003

Lo,

First off, sorry for all the spelling mistakes in that, doubt many of you have read it today, as blogger has been down, well apart from those of you that work nights that is and get in really early.

Dont know what to say really, am sat here in an SSE t shirt which is kinda cool (thanks Tom, oh and big thanks to Tom for all the PAT testing he did today, I tried to help him as best I could, but ended up on a bit of a road trip).

Oh yeah been to licester to get a fish tank for a house of mates of mine, kinda wierd trip really, set off a bit later than I wanted so didnt get to see Fred till later, oh well. (Still dont know interly what is going to happen but know that I am happy, and tonight felt really good).

Got to go to bed now, got my first proper design meeting tomorrow, of course starting small of course, not like its for the national Ice Arena or anything :S.

night night.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Hello, must thing of another way to start this, must be getting boring, of course I can write confident that people are reading now, as most of you have said, or at least told me about things, even got some free stuff out of it, cheers Tom :).

This is kinda the first point of today I suppose, this blog has changed from its first use, as a way of sorting my life out, thought if I put down all that was happening, and what I was feeling I would be able to deal with all thats going on a lot easier, well that hasnt happened really, I mean bits have sorted themselves out but not really, still not happy with who I am although I carnt really remember a point in my life where I have been happy, dont mean happy smiley happy, been that a few times, (Mainly thanks to Fred lately, ;) ), but happy happy to be alive and not worry what else is going to go wrong today, I seem to have good days and bad days, suppose everyone does, but then do I have good days, or am I unhappy all the time and just cheered up by things that I do and things that happen, I dont know really, dont know bout much at present, know I have some payed work, dont know how much it is, and its scaring the hell out of me to be honest, but then its what I want to do 'when I grow up' so I had better stop panicing and start sorting things out, of well at least it will give me something to do next week rather than worrying about what I have done to piss people off today, although I feel the job in itself is going to upset a LOT of people, especially if I fuck it up, of well nothing like pressure is there :s .

Now I try to right what I ment to write before I typed that, basically this bloke has changed from something to help me sort my life out, cos after 6 years of trying nothing much has happened, had some fun experiences, and some really scarry ones, but mainly not for the right reason, like when I had my car crash, everyone that saw it, and saw where my car afterwards, or just saw my car afterwards, wonders why I am still alive, I should be dead, there is no question about that, I was stationary and hit by a car going at 60mph, which pushed me accross a main road and into a field, I still remember it, I still have a bad neck when I drive because of it, that isnt going to go away, its something that has affected me forever, maybe in a bad way, the one thing I remember more than most is that I wasnt scared of driving, I mean I tried to stop hitting the hedge, but that was insticnt, (I blame GTA), but not at one point did I think I dont want to die, and when I went to Burnley the other day, if the car in front had put his brakes on 2 seconds later he would have hit the stationary car, and i probably wouldnt have been able to stop, especially not with that big bastard dimmer rack in the back!!! The only thing I though of that is that if I broke the van TEC would go mad, me rambling now, thing I am trying to say is that I dont think I would care if I died,

Now I really am going to say what I really wanted to at the start. Basically I should probably stop now, I know exactly what I want to right right now, it happened to me twice today and affected me in completley different ways, but I dont really want to say cos I know who reads this now, and dont know how they would react, and basically I am scared, I mean it was nothing bad or anything, but I dont know should probably stop now I am getting a bit personal now, that what you get for going to the pub and not drinking, well at least that part of my life is going well :).

In other new, place I went to today was really nice, got offered tea and coffee I was well impressed.

Oh and something really strange happened, on the way down, I stopped for diesel and a snickers and a bottle of water (my standard driving supplies) and cos the van is used by lots of people you have to fill in a log to say who bought the fuel and where and how much, so it takes a few minutes to fill all the details in if you are by yourself, which I usually am cos I like to set off beore 11am!! Now the woman in the garage noticed this and obvisoulsy felt a bit sorry for me I think, it is a bit of an arse and carnt really understand why we do it as we keep all the reciepts anyway, hmmm. Oh well, when I walked through the doors, she looked at me and smiled, she has no idea how much that ment, to actually connect with someone like that is something that doesnt happen to me, not often, usually only with Fred to be honest, when she aint knackered, or I am really pissing her off, which is happening all the time poor thing, anyway, when I got to the counter we had a chat, about shit, think it was about the car you could win, and how I had seen the car transporter, but I actually spoke to that person, and she cared what I had to say, it was really odd, she wasnt just listening or just were sat there, she actually want to know what I had to say, it felt really odd, but I found myself smiling again when I sat in the van, well until I got on the mototorway and realised I hadnt tried to move the seat to make my neck hurt less, oh well. Tipping the big rack by myself probably did help either, what else am I do to though, I carnt expect people to get out of bed just to help me load the vans, just carnt expect them to do it, I would just like to know if someone else would have driven if I hadnt, cos I dont think they would have, but that would mean they wouldnt have got done, so someone would have done it, but I honestly carnt think who, and thats kinda bugging me, cos i dont mind driving, i dont like being by myself, I think to much when I am buy myself, and hence you get posts like this.

Probably should explain about the thing I dont want to talk about now, mainly cos it scared me a bit, but then I dont know, maybe later.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Hi,

Not really done much, but done loads today if you know what I mean, so of which its probably is best if I dont share.

Main points :

Sorted out where I am going tomorrow, (Ah you will have to wait and see).

Sorted out flying the PA in the tent more or less.

Helped the Week One comitee realise they have to spend more money.

Relocated the store room, and loaded the van, that took longer than it should as everyone pissed off to the pub.

Went to drop my mate off at his car to find a rock had been thrown through the window, so I went back to his to help him sort it out. Security were really good though, 3 blokes and two vans within 5 mins.

Oh and me and my friend also went to get a new tyre for the van, which we should have got put on the other side, but i couldnt care less right now to be honest, no one else could be fucked to sort it out, so who care, funny thing is, all our sound rig needs pat testing in a week, LOL.

Tis all.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Hello, Been to Burnley and back ~300 miles, lovely person couldnt come :( as she was practicaly asleep while stood up this morning, this was a bit of an arse as it would have been nice to spend some time with someone, especially lovely person. Was a longer day than I thought due to helping a mate out in Burley for a few hours, did get some nice food though, and went to a landfill site, which are well scary places, first time I have seen a 22 ton lorry wheel spin!

Went to see lovely person when I got back, but she was still tired, had a nice SSE t shirt on though, grrr me wont one.

Well going into the office for 8:30 9 ish tomorrow as i have shit loads to sort out, (as usual).

Suppose thats it, Oh only had to do two emergancy stops, well one proper one and a little one, that spiced up the journey a bit.

Tis all.

hello, had an exam today, was ok i think,

washed the van in the dark that was fun, and took lovely person to work, bigger place than i thought.

thats about it really, good day alround, going to burnley tomorrow with lovely person that sound be fun, I think.

Monday, September 01, 2003

Hello,

WOW is all have to say, at lots of things, most good to be honest :).

Oh well went to leeds today to move stock around for maplin, that was erm, intersting? or do I mean an arse? hmmmm. Oh and also found out that i can get a new keyboard for £49 including vat and carrige, which is very reasonable so will probably be getting that soon, might get a new battery as well while i am spending money.

Had an exam as well that went well. Also found out a hell of a lot more people read this than a thought, maybe should watch what I type :s.

Sunday night i found out lovely person was scared, but kinda in a good way (if thats possible), had a good night, and more fish and chips, which is always fun :).